I’ll apologize in advance to those tendered ear individuals, as my verbiage here will not be the most pleasant and perhaps, come off a little edgy. I recently took a hiatus from the fitness industry, at least posting about it. I have toy’d with how I want to reintroduce myself to an industry that I love but am greatly dissapointed in.
I have decided that the only way I feel comfortable getting back in is in Relentless, edgy, LaToof fashion. I’m sick of all the bullshit being spouted by all the so-called experts out there. Take a weekend course or sign up for a multi-level marketing company and automatically become a ‘health coach’ or even worse, a ‘life coach.’ Kiss my ass.
But please, do not feel as though I am taking my frustrations out on any particular individual. It is my frustrations with the industry as a whole that’s prompted me. And, I know that there will probably be a few casualities and I will piss people off. That is not my intent but I know it comes with the teritory.
Just know that when I say phrases like, “you fat, lazy, piece of shit,” or “stop eating like an asshole,” I am directing those phrases at myself. You see, I can and have fallen victom to an unhealthy relationship on food. When I do, I hate myself so I know how you feel when you think that there is no hope.
I believe my vernacular here will be necessary. Let’s face it, those happy go lucky magazines that you buy haven’t gotten you out of your funk. So, maybe a change of tone will. And, while I may lose some friends and/or credibility, please do not get it twisted as to why I am doing this. I care about people. I want people to enjoy life, feel good, and do top shelf shit.
So, consider this my re-incarnation into the desolate land of detox teas and idiots still debating on which protein source is superior. The relentless sword is unsheathing and it’s time to learn you up on what actually matters in the fitness industry.
– Ole LaToof
Overview
Rules
No bitching. There will be some difficulty. But you’ve got it, you’re a resilient, relentless human being 😉
Rational
This is about much more than dropping a few pounds. It’s about having a healthy mindset around food. The goal is to get you back on track, in the quickest, least expensive way possible.
We have grown so accustomed to eating all day, every day. Yet, we have the audacity to bitch and complain about how fat we’ve become while we watch Netflix and stuff our faces with “healthy” doughnuts. I’m sick of the crutches. We need to restructer the conversation around food.
I’m going to go ahead say the f-word. It was really only a matter of time but I don’t think anybody who knows me didn’t see this coming. Fasting, it’s been around since the beginning of time. Throughout history there have been people fasting for spiritual and sacrificial purposes. I think we can tap into these purposes and benefit from fasting today, probably moreso than ever!
Now, I’ve practice intermittent fasting for over 6 years now. I am more experienced and don’t expect anyone to jump right in and/or be overly thrilled about its implementation. This reset will also serve as an introduction to fasting. I believe that fasting should be implemented by all, in their preferred method.
Day 1 – 24hr Fast
Rules – No coffee or tea or any other beverage for the next 24 hours. Water only. No workouts.
If you decide to start your fast on Monday, (I assume many will because you can’t start a diet on any other day of the week) whatever time you stop eating your last meal on Sunday will be the time you have your first meal on Monday.
For the more experienced faster, we are doing a 3 day fast. In my opinion, this more of an ideal reset but will be difficult for the inexperienced to comply with. If you’ve never done a 24 hour fast before, stay there.
Upon waking, drink as much water as you can, plain water. If you’re not having to run to the bathroom within the first hour of waking, you’re doing it wrong.
Breathing
You’re a relentless individual. You’re busy. I get it. That’s why we’re going to start your days off nice and slow. Find a quiet place, where you can be alone, shortly after waking and after you’ve consumed at least some water. You can lay down, sit, or do this standing.
Close your eyes and take 30 deep breaths. Breating in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Establish a rhythm focus on your breath. Breath as deeply as you can, hold for a second, then exhale all of the air out.
If you think this some mediative voo-doo, it’s not. It’s actually very important. So don’t skip it and certainly don’t give me the ‘I don’t have time’ bullshit. Truth is, if you don’t have 3 minutes to do this, you probably need 3 hours.
Think about it… you’re #1 intake is not water; it’s air. You can go a few days without water, longer without food (as you’ll soon learn), but you can only go a few minutes without oxygen.
I promise, this simple exercise will make you feel better than any self-help book ever did! Remember, this is your reset. I can’t do it for you nor would I, not for free, at least. You’ll get out what you put into it. And if you’re just trying to drop a few pounds or look better for your vacation next week… well… I’ll just bite my tongue here.
During the Day
Keep yourself busy. The more idle time you have on your hands the more opportunities to go check the fridge. Utilize this newly found freedom from finding a microwave or avoiding that annoying co-worker in the breakroom to actually get some work done!
Breaking the Fast
Alright, you’ve got some options. Ideally, I’d like the fast to go 3 days but I realize that not everybody is experienced with fasting and will need to start slow. If you need to break your fast at the 24 hour mark, follow the below guidelines for doing so.
This will be a small meal. Don’t think you’ll get to feast as a reward for going without food for one day. Our ancestors would not be impressed. Breakfast will be simple and bland. For longer fasts, this will be very necessary. Not so much for this short-term fast but it’s good to establish the habit now.
I have outlined a two meal options.
No substitutes, no changes.
Season only with salt and pepper.
Choose 1 [protein]: baked/grilled chicken (breast), baked/grilled turkey (breast)
Choose 1 [carb]: baked sweet potato, baked white potato
Choose 1 [fat]: avocado, coconut oil, grass-fed butter
For women, the amounts will go like this: baked/grilled chicken (8 oz), baked/grilled turkey (8oz), baked sweet potato (200g), baked white potato (200g), avocado (100g), coconut oil (2 tbsp), grass-fed butter (2 tbsp)
For men, the amounts will go like this: baked/grilled chicken (12 oz), baked/grilled turkey (12 oz), baked sweet potato (250g), baked white potato (250g), avocado (150g), coconut oil (3 tbsp), grass-fed butter (3 tbsp)
If you don’t have a food scale, get one! You won’t have to weigh your food out forever but until you learn the amounts and what they look like, you’ll be forever guessing (wrongly) on your intake level. After a few months of tracking, you’ll learn a lot about portion sizes.
End of Day
Write down how you felt during the fast. Were you tired, energetic, etc.? When did you get hungry? Not bored, but hungry? When you ate, how quickly did you get full? How did you feel an hour after eating? Journal everything about your day. if you’re more comfortable with a video log, do that. Just be sure to track. Remember…
“What gets measured gets managed!“
– Peter Drucker
The Workout
The big three: dead lift, squat, and bench. If you’re unable to perform these exercises with a barbell, alternatives may be used. However, some form of squat and dead lift is preferred.
If workout is done after the 24 hour fast, complete only one of the lifts listed above. The other two will be completed on the following days. Try to avoid doing squat and dead lift on back to back days, if you can help it.
Dead Lift – 5 x 5 @ ~75%
Bench Press – 5 x 5 @ ~80%
Squat – 5 x 5 @ ~65%
Throw some auxiliaries only if you must. Remember, your calories aren’t sufficient to endure muscle growth. Therefore, we want to limit muscle break down as much as possible.
Day 2 – cont. fast or 2 meals
Today, you’ve got options. If you’ve elected to continue your fast, follow a similar protocol as yesterday and disregard the info here. If you decided to break your fast at the 24 hour mark, follow the guidelines below.
Fast until noon. No coffee or tea. Just water only.
At noon, break your fast with a similar meal set up as yesterday. Yes, it will be bland, but think about the others who’ve elected to continue their fast. That should make you grateful for this opportunity to eat.
If you’d like to get a workout in today, you’re welcome to do so. Make it an evening time workout and consume another meal similar to the set up as yesterday afterwards. Follow the workout guidelines listed from yesterday. Avoid cardio, as that will greatly increase appetite while yielding a poor caloric burn.
If you’ve managed to make it this far, good job. You’ve outlasted many but it’s far from a place to rest and relive victory. Keep pushing be sure to track!!
Day 3 – cont. fast or 3 meals
Alrighty, for the extended fasters out there this will be your day to break your fast, at the same time of your last meal 3 days ago. You’re also welcome to get a workout in before breaking your fast, if you feel up to do so. Follow the meal guidelines from Day 1.
For the 24 hour fasters, you will postpone your first meal until noon, just like yesterday. Again, no coffee, tea, or anything but water until noon. The diet will change up a bit, as we will add some seafood to the menu. You’ll also get to add some additional spices.
Choose 1 [protein & fat]: grilled/baked salmon (wild caught)
Choose 1 [carb]: raw blueberries, raw blackberries, raw strawberries
Choose 1 [fat]: grass-fed butter, olive oil,
Lemon pepper may be used on the salmon, you can also use the grass-fed butter to cook the salmon in or with.
You may use any of the previous food options if you dislike fish. However, I would encourage you to try salmon, as it is a very good source of protein and healthy fats.
Day 4 – Food Re-Introduction
By now, you should be back to a normal caloric consumption. Day 4 is the day to start reintroducing nutritious foods back into your diet. Be sure to keep tracking how you’re feeling, as this data will be able to help you understand how your body responds to different foods.
The previous days of eating will serve as your baseline. Continue to eat these foods but start adding others along with it such as seasonings and spices you enjoy. Note how these things make you feel and see if there’s any differences from the bland options.
Once you’ve got that data collection, begin reintroducing foods such as eggs. Eggs are actually one of the most common food allergies. Many who have this allergy are unaware because it’s not a life-threatening one and the symptoms are often under the surface.
However, these symptoms will show themselves rather quickly if you have a problem digesting eggs. Gas and bloating are common signs that you’re body isn’t responding ideally. If that happens, revert back to one of the baseline meals. Try eating eggs again and see if it produces similar results.
Understand why it’s so important to track?
Before implementing new foods, go back to your baseline meals that make you feel normal. Introduce new foods and note how you feel. I would recommend you try them more than just once to get a good sense of how you’re responding.
Implement the following foods: eggs, beans, brown/white rice, pork, fruits, coffee, tea. Note how you respond to each of these. If you ever get off track, you may always start this process over. In fact, it may take you several times experimenting with this.
It will be well worth it because you’ll learn a lot about your body along the way. This data will prove to be invaluable to you as you continue your journey to health and wellness.
