How’d you like that click-baitie sub-title? I know. I hate it too! It’s a shame what you have to do on the internet to get attention these days. And because I don’t have a nice rack or can rock a bikini, I have to settle with such silliness.

But, we can bitch about the internet another time. This articles discusses the one rule I never break. Without further delay, enjoy the article!


I’ve never been much of a rule follower. I’ve always just done what I thought was best. You know what they say, “ask for forgiveness instead of permission.”

Whoever the hell “they” are, I have no clue, nor have the desire to find out and honestly I don’t really give a fuck.

It’s not that I have a total lack of care for others. I’m actually quite respectful and care very much for others. It’s just that to best serve others, I have to be at my best and do what’s best for me. Call it selfish but it’s not. But, I digress.

As I start this new content creation, “Nick’s Picks,” there will be a few guidelines I’ll follow but honestly, I’ll mostly just wing it. It’s more fun that way! However, the following guideline is to be respected and taken most seriously!



cardinal rule

Don’t Fuck With People Who Handle Your Food


This means:

Never joke with people who either serve, cook/prepare, or grow your food in a way that pisses them off. While I agree, it is better to be pissed off than pissed on, pissing off these people can cause you a whole host of problems down the road. Friendly joking is okay but please be careful.

Never make smart ass remarks or ask dumb questions about menu items. For example, if one of the nightly specials has a special house made aioli, never say, “aioli, that’s just a fancy word for spicy mayo.” While you are 100% correct, this is flirting with disaster. I don’t advise this type of action.

Never send food back. I don’t give a shit if you ordered medium and they slightly over-cooked your steak. Consider this the universe telling you that you needed to eat that steak cooked more. When you send food back, you might as well walk back to the kitchen and slap the chef right in the face.

Even if the food is horrible and they offer to get you something else entirely, don’t do it. Just choke this one up as a loss and keep it moving.


Food is necessary for life; therefore, make it good!”
– S Truett Kathy

I saw that quote in a Chic-Fil-A once, I think. I wish not to speak on whether there is irony there or not but the quote is true. Now, allow me to say a few other obvious things to add bulk to this article.

You’re going to die.

But, let’s not make that death come quicker than it has to because you wanted to complain about something that wasn’t quite up to par and you pissed off the people handling your food so they decided to drop your steak on the un-mopped floor a few times after taking it off the grill that they forgot to clean the dead fish off of before they grilled your steak.

How’d you like that run on sentence. My english teachers would be so proud. I did always prioritize content over structure and I think that’s why you read my articles. Because of the content, not the grammatically correct sentence structure. (They also said never to start a sentence with “because.”)

Not to throw any punches… but it’s not like you could really say anything… I see your tweets, Facebook and Instagram posts. 🙂

Speaking of, follow me on those platforms and thank you for reading!

I appreciate the hell out of it!

Please share your comments below and please follow the one rule of the comment section: No Spam &, as Jackie Moon would want, E.L.E [Everybody Love Everybody]

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